Long weekends go way too fast!

Our weekend started out very spontaneous. I decided to stop by a Larry H Miller car sale on Friday and I ended up trading in my Rodeo for a 2003 Honda Civic. I was adamant on doing so because I felt like I was filling up my gas every 4 days and it costs so much! So our payment is higher than it was but I figured we would be saving money in all with the whole gas situation. Saturday my family had a golf tournament up in Preston Idaho -then we came back home and had some friends over for a bbq. We went to church on Sunday and attended all of our meetings and Isaiah was a terror.. wow, was I worn out by the end of the meetings. We then had ANOTHER bbq over at Jake's grandparents house which was nice and then we had some family over for the movie Freedom Writer's. If any of you haven't seen this, I highly suggest it. It is very inspirational.
Monday we went back up to Idaho and had a family reunion up there...
I got called to Young Women's as the sports coach. If any of you know me, you probably are laughing while reading this. Now I have a practice with the girls I don't even know yet on Wednesday and a game on Thursday.. Jake made me pull up the rules on the Internet and print them out.. ha ha! This will be very entertaining!

Family photo shoot!

We were lucky enough to be asked to get photographed by 6 different photographers. They have a group that gets together and does the photo shoot. So this is just a few of many pictures to go through... I am excited to have these blown up and put in our home :)

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Family golf day

We were lucky enough to have Jake home for Family Home Evening on Monday night. This is the first time in months! We decided to be courageous and take Isaiah out golfing on a real golf course to enjoy the weather. We had a blast. Jake got to practice while I enjoyed watching and playing with Isaiah. Isaiah had so much fun trying to find the golf balls everywhere. When I asked him to be quiet, he would be quiet and whisper. Isaiah really looked up to his daddy watching him play and I think Jake was having fun showing his son his favorite hobby and sharing it with him. Afterwards we ended the night with a few sundaes from Baskin Robbins :) Hmmm yummy.

My puppy dog :)

Isaiah had one of his first birthday parties to attend this past weekend. He had so much fun. He got his face painted like a puppy, participated in the games, played with his cousins and the clown, and ate some food. It was so fun to watch him interact with other kids. He is getting so big. How can you love someone THIS much? Everyday I think, there is no way I could love him anymore and the next day, I do. I get excited to play with him and talk to him every day. He makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE day. What a blessing!

Friend's Baby Shower

This past weekend we had a baby shower for Jen. It was a lot of fun and nice to see everyone. I won the contest (I was determined to win) of the baby food testing and knowing what it was.. I about threw up, but HEY I WON. ha. There was a lot of yummy food we made. It was too bad that it rained but we made it a fun day. I hope Jen enjoyed it. I can't wait for baby Nixen to come out and play...Don't those strawberries look heavenly? (oh and don't make fun of my awesome face I made while getting a picture taken and doing make up for my friend... I also won ugliest face of the year :) )

update oh and Dancing with the Stars...

I am like a new person... on prescriptions but at least feeling normal again. It was hard for me to give in to them but I am glad I did. Now I just worry about being "stuck" on them. But for now I just want to relax for a bit :)

I've been watching Dancing With The Stars and I listened to an interview with Ian Ziering today and he is 43 years old!!! Dang... he looks really good and I love to watch him dance. I also get sad watching everyone dance because I danced my whole life so I have this passion for it and I don't get to fulfill it! I would love to be out there dancing..

Let's be frank..

Well I haven't been posting everything new because I have seriously been miserable. I created an anxiety/panic disorder. I have never not had control over myself until the past week. It began when one night I decided to not take this anxiety pill that I took, so I could sleep... and I was up all night with anxiety that I wouldn't be able to sleep... well 6 days went by and I had anxiety all day and night and didn't get an ounce of sleep. I couldn't imagine why was I was getting this and not able to control my thoughts and heart racing and all that jazz.. I really thought I was going crazy.. still do! The lack of sleep/insomnia caused the anxiety and the anxiety caused the lack of sleep/insomnia. It became an obsession. My mom has always been against prescription medication and she got me thinking that I was going to get well and mentally healthy on my own without taking anything which would be completely ideal ... she was sweet enough to take me and pay for a holistic doctor that is trying to help build up the things I am lacking in my body... however, I think I got into such a black hole - I think I am way too far down to get back up on my own. After many different doctor's visits and crying every day (missing work and having to have someone sit with me and my son all day) - I have finally surrendered after 9 days of this (felt like 2 years) to try something to chemically help my brain figure this all out... my other fear is that I will live on meds my whole life but right now it is about getting to the next day and to get the old Mandy back again where I can take care of my son and husband and function like a human being.... the mind is a very very powerful thing and you don't realize how awful it is when you lose a part of it! I can't stop wondering I have to deal with this.. why this became my battle out of nowhere.
I want to enjoy life again.. sounds ridiculous only after 8-9 days but I can honestly say that that was just a little bit of what hell can be like. I am still fighting the attacks off (every minute of every day and night) until I can get into another doctor on Monday... (with the exception of an anti anxiety pill until I can get something that works better for my body).
I am asking for all prayers :) Have a great weekend!