Friday, September 23, 2016

my boy

This week was an emotional week for us. I walked into the week having no clue what I was getting myself into. I knew Isaiah had basketball try outs for a competitive team in the city and that it would be with all his friends from the year before and at school. From what I understood beforehand, there would be two teams and most of the players would make it to one of the teams. So I wasn’t that worried. Well when I picked Isaiah up from his tryouts on Monday night, he had a red and sweaty face. He looked like he had worked his little fanny off. He got in the car and I saw tears in his eyes. He seemed worried. The coaches said that if you got an email, that meant you didn’t make either of the teams. So all night Isaiah kept asking if I received an email. So I took him to school and he was just not himself.  I got to work and opened my email so I would immediately be notified the minute I would get an email. I was so worried. I prayed to Heavenly Father that this would work out for him. He wanted it so bad. Every time I would hear or see that there was a new message, my stomach would turn. I would look and it would be some junk or spam messages. So with each message and as the time would get further and further into the day, I would get a little more hope for him. 
At noon I opened “the email” and immediately my heart dropped. How am I going to tell him? That is one of the most hard conversations to have with your children.  Yes, it’s not the end of the world and I could think of harder things to deal with, but to your child, this is their whole world and their self esteem is wrapped up all in this try out. Especially knowing ALL of his friends made the team. Tears dropped the rest of the day. I had a hard time focusing the rest of the day at work. I had to tell my son he didn’t make the team when all of his friends did. I prayed to Heavenly Father, asking for help that I would know the best way to tell him, that I could be strong for him, and that Isaiah would be in a good position to hear it. I watched the clock get closer to school getting out and my nerves were shot.

I was outside of the school in my car as I heard the bell and watched the kids rush out all playing and laughing. Isaiah was out quickly and got in the car with a big smile on his face, but almost holding back his nervousness. He said “Mom, my day got better. I can’t wait to tell you the big news.” I am thinking, WHAT??? He said, “I got told I got put into the SEM program today.” My eyes filled with tears and I was shocked. (The SEM program is something both my kids have always wanted so bad. It’s a group of kids with the better grades that are entitled to get out of class once a week to do fun activities. I never thought my kids would ever be in this group.).  How did Heavenly Father not prep this for me and him perfectly? For him to find out he made SEM the ONE day he was going to find out pretty sad news, just blew my mind. I had no doubt that this was one of his tender mercies for us this day. I gave Isaiah a huge hug and told him how proud I was of him. He then looked up at me with his big hopeful eyes, we both knew what question was going to come next. “Mom, did you get an email?” I sat there for a second looking forward at the car in front of us, still waiting for London to get in the car. “Yes honey, I did. I am so sorry.” I watched him silently cry for a good 4 minutes. I tried hugging him but he was so still. It was heartbreaking. We had a good conversation about how as hard as this was, what an amazing opportunity it was that he got into SEM and Student Council and how he should be proud of himself. I dropped him off at art class and he had such a cute smile on his face. I watched him grow that day. He picked himself up and kept his head  held high. I am so blessed. This was a good learning experience for the both of us. I thank Heavenly Father for helping 
us that day… my boys future is so bright.

This is the art piece he came out with that day. So proud of his talents and his ability to pick himself up after he falls.