Yesterday was a special day. A day to honor our mom's and all the other people that are mom's and for our kids to treat us even more special. It might look like breakfast in bed, or even just a extra big hug, or a card. My kids were with their daddy in the morning, so I woke up and got on my "church goin" clothes and showed up to my parents church and went with my own mama to let her know how much I love her. We all show it differently. There isn't a whole lot I could do without my mom having some type of influence in one way or another. She is a guide to my in my life and my kids lives. I know she misses her own mom, but I think my sisters and I kept her busy so it didn't hurt as bad.
The whole weekend I had many thoughts about mom's and different kind of mom's. They all come in different shapes and sizes. Step mom's, mother in laws, big sisters that raise their siblings, teachers that spend just as much time and energy as mom's do, best friends, grandma's, aunts, mom's that have lost their kids, mom's who tried to have kids but never could get pregnant, birth mom's that gave up t heir children to adoption, foster mom's, etc... We have to take the time to really thank each type of mother that help raise us in one way or another.
Because of the significants this role plays in my life currently, I want to highlight single mothers in this post. Single mom's to have on magical capes. They are super hero's. They jump in and save their children from the pain that's ahead of them or around the corner. Single mommy's are brave. They take on the world by themselves. They have no shame in that game:) They wear all the hats in the family. They wake up at the crack of dawn so they can not only get themselves ready, but their kids ready for school, make and pack the lunches, throw together some breakfast (even if it's chips-ahoy cookies), yell at the kids to hurry and hurry more, take off down the street just to realize you left kids books for library day, drop them off and head to work and realize you didn't eat breakfast or pack your own lunch! As your stomach is growling, you are working to impress the boss so that you can eventually move up the ladder so that you don't keep making minimum wage and you can keep up with all the other families around... At the end of the work day, head back down to get the kids from school, just so you can wisk them back off to dance and basketball practice. Dinner ends up being Instant Mac & Cheese with a side of yelling at the kids to stop fighting. Cleaning up dinner and trying to help with homework at the same time. Getting kids to settle down while you are folding laundry and you can't find several matching socks.. The struggle is very real. The the mommy's that are fighting to not have that drink of wine before bed, or taking that extra pill to give you a boost, or looking in the mirror and sucking in your gut wishing you looked 30 pounds lighter, or wishing you had a husband to gracefully help you when the water won't drain in the sink, or you can't pay that last bill. There isn't one day that goes as planned, but after the experiences I have had and the trials I have faced, I THANK THE GOOD LORD that those kids are in my care and they choose to be with me, nobody else. When I ask them where they are most comfortable, they say at our home. That is a win. That is what makes it worth it. I always feel a step or two behind but who doesn't? Life is about just staying active and enjoying the ride. Doesn't mean we always do that, but we are trying right? To the mom's that lost their kids in one way or another, my heart was with you yesterday. The pain is overcoming, I can't even begin to imagine. To the mom's that aren't with their kids, I thought about you. To the mom's that never feel enough, you are. Please if you don't do anything different this year before next mother's day, just do this- look in the mirror and love the mom that you are. You are ENOUGH and you deserve a lot more self compassion and forgiveness. Life is hard enough. Go get yourself the Starbucks you've been wanting, go on a hike, take a yoga class, make yourself the dinner you've been wanting tonight (not what your kids want). Put you first. Raise your glass to yourself.
#singlemom #mothersday #divorce #laugh