Coming clean..

Anyone that really knows me knows that I am usually pretty open and honest about my true feelings on specific subjects. (This blog is really meant for my own personal experiences and the latest and greatest on my kids. I cannot wait to print it all out and have it in tangible form!) Life as a mother hasn't come easy for me. It's been a huge adjustment from going from working outside in the real world, to staying home with two kids everyday all day. Do not let me confuse you.. I absolutely wouldn't have it any other way, but there are days where I just want to go into an office setting and talk to adults about adult things:) I just want to hear the latest office gossip and look down at my feet wearing stilettos, holding onto a small purse that only carries lipstick, gum, and my wallet- rather than having diapers, nose sucker, wipes, butt paste, hand sanitizer, graham crackers and it's crumbs SPILLING out of my huge ginormous duffel bag. If I wake up to crying, I usually have a pretty good idea on how that day is going to go. To get both kids ready early in the morning and get Isaiah off to preschool... it's rough. I am chasing after London as she is trying to eat pennies or little toys Isaiah left on the floor from the night before.. then to Isaiah acting like he is a zombie and me going from asking nicely to get himself dressed, to me finally yelling to get my point across (which by the way doesn't even work). By the time I have finally got both kids ready and looking fresh... I feel like it should be 4 o'clock in the afternoon! Then somehow, someway I have to find time and energy to get some exercise. I used to just get up first thing in the morning and go straight to the gym, so I find it very hard to go to the gym. It takes a lot of motivation! So kudos to all those mom's who make it to work out every day!!! I now know how hard it really is just to make it there:) The minute I take time to clean my house, I get sidetracked with hearing... "MOMMY, MOMMY, MOM, MAMA..." I stop to take care of their needs and look around and I'm tripping over small metal cars and then smashing fruit loops into our new carpet. And one of the most annoying things of having children is how much SNOT I am wiping off of their faces! Holy cow.... yes my kids get runny noses that last for weeks. There I admitted it. Grosssssssssssssssssss. By the time 5:00 rolls around I haven't even thought about what our dinner will be and all I can think about is Cafe Rio... and for about an hour I go back and forth in my mind thinking.. "I deserve Cafe Rio just this once... I should make dinner for my husband and kids tonight... but it sounds sooo good.... but then I have to actually put both kids in the car and drive a whole 5 minutes to go pick it up... but it's somewhat healthy for me...." and on and on and on.. ha ha.
When I take the kids to the park to get out their energy and for me to get some sun.. I look around and the mom's just have a big content smile on their faces with the softest sweetest voices as they nicely ask for their kids to please not hit the child in front of them. Where as I am straining my vocal cords threatening Isaiah with his life. For so long I thought - why can't I just be like those "perfect, have- it- all -together" mom's? But now my question is... why are we not being honest with one another on how hard it really is trying to balance everything? Why do we put on a front in front of other people? Why is it a competition rather than all of us being on the same team?
As you can tell, I love my kids. They are my life, but when does it get easier? Was I just not built to be a mom? Why do I have to work that much harder than the other women, or is that just me comparing myself? These are questions I am consistently asking! Does ANYONE out there in this blogging world feel this way.. cause when I look at everyone elses blog I just see nothing but PERFECTNESS:)
On a lighter note.. here is some of my favorite pictures of the week...

Isaiah fell asleep in his paper thin tent (notice my camera shot is in the hole of it)... how sweet is a sleeping child?
Hard at play..

London's missing knee cap:)

Shopping with mom in style..

I had sooo much to do this day and she fell asleep on my chest.. so I decided to forget all my 'to do list' and enjoyed being her pillow as long as it took..

London sneaking the fruit loops out of the cupboard. Why did I decide to put them on the bottom shelf?

Wearing one of Little Shae's headbands (Karlee Dutson)..

I loved this picture.. like father, like daughter. Look at their faces, exactly the same look.

This picture was not taken this week.. however, this is how most of the Martin kids bath ends up..