Sunday, May 3, 2009

Coming clean..

Anyone that really knows me knows that I am usually pretty open and honest about my true feelings on specific subjects. (This blog is really meant for my own personal experiences and the latest and greatest on my kids. I cannot wait to print it all out and have it in tangible form!) Life as a mother hasn't come easy for me. It's been a huge adjustment from going from working outside in the real world, to staying home with two kids everyday all day. Do not let me confuse you.. I absolutely wouldn't have it any other way, but there are days where I just want to go into an office setting and talk to adults about adult things:) I just want to hear the latest office gossip and look down at my feet wearing stilettos, holding onto a small purse that only carries lipstick, gum, and my wallet- rather than having diapers, nose sucker, wipes, butt paste, hand sanitizer, graham crackers and it's crumbs SPILLING out of my huge ginormous duffel bag. If I wake up to crying, I usually have a pretty good idea on how that day is going to go. To get both kids ready early in the morning and get Isaiah off to preschool... it's rough. I am chasing after London as she is trying to eat pennies or little toys Isaiah left on the floor from the night before.. then to Isaiah acting like he is a zombie and me going from asking nicely to get himself dressed, to me finally yelling to get my point across (which by the way doesn't even work). By the time I have finally got both kids ready and looking fresh... I feel like it should be 4 o'clock in the afternoon! Then somehow, someway I have to find time and energy to get some exercise. I used to just get up first thing in the morning and go straight to the gym, so I find it very hard to go to the gym. It takes a lot of motivation! So kudos to all those mom's who make it to work out every day!!! I now know how hard it really is just to make it there:) The minute I take time to clean my house, I get sidetracked with hearing... "MOMMY, MOMMY, MOM, MAMA..." I stop to take care of their needs and look around and I'm tripping over small metal cars and then smashing fruit loops into our new carpet. And one of the most annoying things of having children is how much SNOT I am wiping off of their faces! Holy cow.... yes my kids get runny noses that last for weeks. There I admitted it. Grosssssssssssssssssss. By the time 5:00 rolls around I haven't even thought about what our dinner will be and all I can think about is Cafe Rio... and for about an hour I go back and forth in my mind thinking.. "I deserve Cafe Rio just this once... I should make dinner for my husband and kids tonight... but it sounds sooo good.... but then I have to actually put both kids in the car and drive a whole 5 minutes to go pick it up... but it's somewhat healthy for me...." and on and on and on.. ha ha.
When I take the kids to the park to get out their energy and for me to get some sun.. I look around and the mom's just have a big content smile on their faces with the softest sweetest voices as they nicely ask for their kids to please not hit the child in front of them. Where as I am straining my vocal cords threatening Isaiah with his life. For so long I thought - why can't I just be like those "perfect, have- it- all -together" mom's? But now my question is... why are we not being honest with one another on how hard it really is trying to balance everything? Why do we put on a front in front of other people? Why is it a competition rather than all of us being on the same team?
As you can tell, I love my kids. They are my life, but when does it get easier? Was I just not built to be a mom? Why do I have to work that much harder than the other women, or is that just me comparing myself? These are questions I am consistently asking! Does ANYONE out there in this blogging world feel this way.. cause when I look at everyone elses blog I just see nothing but PERFECTNESS:)
On a lighter note.. here is some of my favorite pictures of the week...


Isaiah fell asleep in his paper thin tent (notice my camera shot is in the hole of it)... how sweet is a sleeping child?
Hard at play..




London's missing knee cap:)
Shopping with mom in style..
I had sooo much to do this day and she fell asleep on my chest.. so I decided to forget all my 'to do list' and enjoyed being her pillow as long as it took..
London sneaking the fruit loops out of the cupboard. Why did I decide to put them on the bottom shelf?

Wearing one of Little Shae's headbands (Karlee Dutson)..

I loved this picture.. like father, like daughter. Look at their faces, exactly the same look.
This picture was not taken this week.. however, this is how most of the Martin kids bath ends up..

16 comments:

The Royalls said...

I totally agree with you!! I have more days than not when I feel like I can't be a mom for another second!! And I also find myself counting down the days when all of my boys are in school so I will have time to go to the gym! Being a mom is the HARDEST thing in the world and it really isn't fair that we compare ourselves to others. But, by the looks of things, I am guessing that you are an excellent mom-you just need to remember to do only what works for you and your family and not worry about what other moms are doing! Hang in there!

Brad said...

I have some great blogs that I read that are REAL, honest and funny. They keep me going! To be totally honest I go to their blogs first and appreciate them so much! Here are a couple and you might read some already:

http://www.sansomfamily.com/
http://drawntotheflame.blogspot.com/
http://blog.cjanerun.com/

I find myself saying, 'oh thank you for having the guts to post that story' I also heard about a group of girls that get together and spill their most honest moments about being a mom and/or things that have happened that are scary to share as moms. They all know how much they love being moms but they also know how much they need to hear they are not alone!

Cheryl

zack~kristin~stockton~kailee! said...

okay serously Mandy that was like my favorite post of all time! It is SO TRUE!! I feel like that so much! As a matter of fact, yesterday was nearing a 10 on the bad day scale. Anyhow, thanks for that.. I love that you are real. I hate feeling like I have to live up to the "perfect moms" with perfect families. I may have to come clean soon too...

Kimberly Lee said...

Girl, you are not alone...believe me!! I pretty much feel the same as you do all the time!! As Jon is walking in the door from work I am running out to go to the gym, you just need that alone time, and luckily he understands. Two kids is plenty for me!!

Amy Jo said...

Sweetie, I understand completely. Being a mother is SO much harder than you think going into it. It's a daily struggle for me too. There are days when all I want is to be just me again, in my own cute apartment, working at an office and like you said, wearing cute shoes and carrying a small purse. It's frustrating at times, I know. But it is definitely the most rewarding job I'll ever have. (or I keep telling myself that anyway) You are a fantastic mommy and your kids are so lucky to have you! But besides that, you are a wonderful woman. Don't forget that! Love ya!

Cooksey said...

Oh my gosh I had no idea moms feel like that. I work full time and don't have kids yet but I'm ready to retire. Working isn't glamorous...I get so tired of wearing skirts or dresses and walking 9 hours a day in heels (no joke, I work in a store). And the deadlines and stress are usually too much to handle and I want to scream but I can't. I wish I could wake up and get dressed in jeans and stay in my house with my kids and do something that matters. Oh well, I guess the grass is always greener, right?

Britney said...

Being a mom seriously can suck. Today is one of those days for me. I feel defeated and guilty all the time. My kids don't listen and are driving me crazy.

I think when we feel like this (because honestly I feel this way today) that we just keep going, keep doing OUR best (which is a different best than your neighbor). I compare myself to other moms all the time, and it gets me no-where but down.

As for the 'perfect' blogs, I do like to read stories of moms everyday life. I guess when my 'everyday life' is happening, I don't think to blog about it.

Thanks for the post.

Kasey, Nicole, Lexie, and Kenzie said...

Mandy, This is Nicole Higley, Hope you don't mind me peaking! I so feel the same way! I love your honesty. Some days are MUCH better than others. I am sure you are a wonderful mom!

Heather said...

I LOVE your honesty! But believe me, you are not alone!

Lori's Family said...

I only like to post about the hightlights and fun stuff we do. I hope you know I think being a mommy is hard work. I think it does get easier as your kids get bigger but then you miss them as babies. My kids are the loudest, wildest when we are out in public(my two year old thinks every outing a a free for all). I always feel like a spectacle! I try to keep a two store limit. You are not the only one! Ahhh, kids you gotta love them.....How can something so small challenge us so much?????

Angela Cloyd said...

Mandy,

I love how real and honest you are. I can honestly say that being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is so hard to find time for ourselves. I have to say that I am one of those who tends to only post the happy and the good. However reading your post was really refreshing. I think that is so true that we all have struggles, but only show that we are trying to be perfect.

Just want you to know that you are a fabulous mom and when you talk about your kids you light up. I think it is the hardest job there is, being a mom, but also the most important and rewarding. We just need to keep having our girls nights!!!

The Skinners said...

I think every mom has those days. I definately need breaks now and then or else I go a little crazy. Thank goodness for the gym, husbands who help, babysitters, Disney channel, naptime and bedtime. Just because you get frusterated doesnt mean you arent a perfect mom with a perfect life. I prefer people and friends who are human!

mjs ashworth said...

AMEN! I feel like this A LOT! Glad I am not the only one!

Love ya!

Burninghams said...

Mandy-
You don't know me but I am Kari Patterson's sister in law. I am married to her brother and you share a driveway with Kari's mom and her husband Dennis. I got on your blog because last time I was at Kari's mom's house I saw you and your family outside and thought you looked familiar so I asked Dennis what your names were and I had recognized the names on Kari's blog......anyway......so I decided to read your last posting and just wanted to tell you that I feel the exact same way as you. I have a 3 year old son as well and he is a terror. I am constantly fighting with him to get anything done. I just wanted to say I am so on your team and hate the whole "competition" thing you talk about....it's insane to think about why things are so hard for you but not everyone else and I think you are right, they put on a front.
Anyway thanks for speaking your mind and being honest. Maybe our son's can play together sometime. We will be at Kari's mom's house this weekend for Mother's Day so maybe we will see you and officially introduce myself! By the way, my name is Jen.

Burninghams said...

P.S. Turns out you know my little sister as well. Heather Gilbert Bushnell. Haha. What a small world!

Cynthia's Blog said...

Try to get on that show "Wife Swap". Or do a wife swap with a friend. I think you will come screaming home. Or you can just come down here for the weekend and let us play with the kids all the live long day; And you can go to Dillards. Better...Leave the kids with Dave and we'll all go to Dillards!